All in the Mind Read online

  ALL IN THE MIND

  Judith Cranswick

  © Judith Cranswick 2005

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  First published in Great Britain in 2005

  British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  1st EBook edition 2013

  2nd EBook edition January 2014

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be repro­duced, stored on a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior permission of the publisher.

  All the characters and institutions in this publication are fictitious. Any resem­blance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Author’s note

  All in the Mind was first published in paperback in 2005 and much has changed. Technology has moved on – surely no one, let alone a senior manager, would be without a mobile or an answerphone in today’s world or rely solely on a paper diary for appointments? Several buildings mentioned in the text no longer exist or have moved location such as the main Swindon Post Office and the Swindon Divisional Police Headquarters.

  Also by Judith Cranswick

  WATCHER IN THE SHADOWS

  A DEATH TOO FAR

  The Fiona Mason Mysteries

  BLOOD ON THE BULB FIELDS

  BLOOD IN THE WINE

  BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE

  Coming soon

  BLOOD HITS THE WALL

  Short Story collections

  ALL SORTS VOLUME 1

  ALL SORTS VOLUME 2

  ALL SORTS VOLUME 3

  For more information, please visit

  www.judithcranswick.co.uk

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 1

  The hollow clack of her high heels echoed in the confined space and was strangely disconcerting. Perhaps it hadn’t been such a good idea to come through the underpass at this time of night. Not that it was late – a little after eight o’clock – but it was getting dark. Vandals had smashed the overhead lights. In daylight, it had never bothered Sarah that she could not see through the passageway to the exit although that fact had never registered on the few occasions she had used it before. Now in the gloom, the whole place, with its low ceiling and grim graffiti-daubed walls, seemed to close in on her and took on a distinctly menacing feel.

  Sarah slowed her pace. Tiredness was making her oversensitive. It had been a long and gruelling day; interminable meetings, a difficult governor, frustratingly recalcitrant colleagues and not a moment to herself. Logic told her that there could be nothing lying in wait beyond the bend. There was nothing forcing her onward. She could always turn back and take her chances crossing the busy dual carriageway but why face the long diversion to get round the central barrier?

  Instinct made her glance back over her shoulder. A dark shape silhouetted against the light from the entrance was rapidly getting closer. She moved nearer the wall. Embarrassed by her sudden cowardice, she strode on, fighting the urge to run. She sensed rather than heard the figure come alongside. As she glanced across, a hand darted out to grab the handbag slung over her shoulder.

  She swerved violently sideways, all apprehension lost in indignant fury. He tried to yank it from her but she dropped her briefcase and seized the strap with both hands, twisting it around her wrist, and threw her weight backwards to counter his superior strength. Taken off guard, he stumbled, knocking them both sideways. His hot breath hissed on Sarah’s cheek.

  A fist came towards her. The crack on the jaw sent her head slamming against the roughcast wall.

  The next thing she remembered was the stench. That and the itch of the slow trickle of blood running down from her raw grazed cheek. Her jaw was screaming to the point that she dared not touch it in case it had been shattered.

  First, she needed to get up and away from the overpowering acrid stink assaulting her nostrils. She clambered to a sitting position, trying to ignore the discarded crisp packets and dirty scraps of assorted rubbish beneath her. Her assailant was long gone; she could rest for a moment. The cold was seeping into her bones. She must force herself to move.

  Someone else was approaching. Crawling painfully to her knees, she turned for help.

  A late night shopper. Even in the gloom, she could make out the look of startled horror on the pale face. The middle-aged woman sidled past, keeping her distance, using assorted, well-stuffed carrier bags as a barrier between them. Sarah watched dumbfounded as the woman scurried away to the far end of the underpass.

  That abandonment was more painful than her tortured face. Sarah wanted to call out, to tell her that she wasn’t some down-and-out drunk or one of the rising number of homeless aggressively begging from every passer-by. There was no point. She was too weak to explain. She slumped back and was as near to tears as she had been in a long time. Waves of self-pity washed over as her state of absolute helplessness hit her.

  The sound of talking and laughter broke the lonely silence. She looked up to see a young couple.

  ‘Please help me. I’ve been attacked.’ All pride had gone.

  They came running. The man helped her up, hoisted her arm around his shoulder and slowly led her to the end of the dismal tunnel, up the steep slope and back into the open. There were no seats in the immediate vicinity so they settled on the low wall of one of the raised flowerbeds outside the old Post Office.

  ‘My briefcase!’

  ‘It’s okay; Carole’s got it. She’ll stay with you while I ring for the police.’ He brought out his mobile and moved off a few paces.

  ‘Sorry to be so much trouble,’ Sarah lisped painfully through clenched teeth.

  ‘Ben will soon have it sorted.’ The girl fished in her pockets for a clean tissue and began dabbing at the blood oozing down Sarah’s cheek. ‘There, that’s better. Are you hurt anywhere else?’

  Sarah tentatively put a hand to her jaw. It still hurt like hell but at least it was not broken and it gave her something other than her pounding head to focus on. ‘I’m fine,’ she answered and foolishly attempted a smile. To hide her grimace she turned away to look at the large clock over towards the bus station.

  ‘Were you supposed to be meeting someone? Will they be wondering where you are?’

  Sarah shook her head. Another mistake. Things began to swim before her eyes and it was a while before she could mumble, ‘I was on my way home.’

  ‘Is there anyone we can contact for you?’ She glanced at the ring on Sarah’s left hand. ‘Your husband?’

  ‘I live alone.’ She hoped she didn’t sound as sorry for herself as she felt.

  Ben returned and Sarah was saved from further explanation.<
br />
  ‘They’ll be here soon and there’s an ambulance on its way,’ he said.

  ‘I’m not badly hurt. Just a bit shaken,’ she protested, momentarily jerked from her dazed state.

  ‘You were knocked unconscious. It’s best they take a look at you at the hospital, just to be on the safe side,’ he said firmly. ‘They won’t be long. We’ll stay until they come.’

  ‘It’s very good of you,’ she murmured meaning every word.

  Even though it was a warm evening, Sarah began to shiver. Ben took off his jacket and swaddled it around her shoulders. Her two companions sat protectively on either side, perched on the wall. Sarah could hear the pleasant drone of Ben’s voice, low and comforting, but the actual words washed over her.

  The police were the first to arrive. As the car drew up on the far side of the square, Ben walked across to the two officers.

  The constable, a stern faced man in his late twenties, barely paused to listen. He strode up to Sarah, took out his notebook and started firing questions. He frowned as Ben and Carole chipped in with the details she’d given them earlier about the mugger and the stolen handbag.

  ‘Let the young lady speak for herself please, if you wouldn’t mind,’ he cut in sharply. Sarah noted the patronizing adjective – he was at least five years her junior – but she couldn’t summon up the energy to take offence let alone object. ‘Right now, shall we start at the beginning? Name and address.’

  The WPC standing behind her dour colleague gave Sarah an encouraging smile as she answered, but Sarah saw the girl sneak a look at her watch. Presumably, it wasn’t long till the end of their shift and having to sort out all the paperwork would prolong their duty. This minor incident was all they needed.

  ‘Can you give a description of the man?’

  ‘It all happened so quickly...’ Sarah felt flustered and upset at her incompetence. ‘He came from behind; I didn’t really see him.’

  ‘You must have noticed something. What about his clothes?’

  She closed her eyes and forced herself to think back. ‘It was too dark to see much. Possibly a tracksuit with the hood pulled up. And he must have been wearing trainers because I didn’t hear him until he was almost on top of me.’ Her slurred speech became a little stronger. ‘I’m sure there was something else but…’ Had there been something familiar about him or was she imagining it?

  ‘Yes?’

  Sarah shook her head. ‘No. It’s gone.’

  ‘He only took your bag?’ asked the WPC. ‘He didn’t pull at your clothing or… try anything else?’

  Carole gave a faint gasp. A shudder went through Sarah. The thought of rape had not entered her mind before. Carole’s hand closed over Sarah’s in a reassuring squeeze. Trying to assert herself, Sarah explained briefly how she’d come by her bruises and deliberately made light of his single blow.

  ‘Can we have a description of the bag, please?’ The disgruntled policeman was keen to get back to the main issue. This talk of violence would only complicate matters.

  ‘Black leather with lots of pockets. And my initials, SH, in gold on the catch.’

  ‘Contents?’

  ‘I never carry much money so I don’t suppose there was more than a five pound note and some small change in my purse... My credit cards… A couple of computer disks… Oh, and my keys.’

  They were interrupted by the arrival of the paramedics. At least the man who knelt in front of her was more sympathetic. He asked Sarah to follow the finger he waved in front of her face and wanted to know if she was feeling nauseous. In the state she was in, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d started lecturing her for wasting his time calling them out.

  She was vaguely aware that some kind of argument was going on. She could hear Ben stridently insisting that she should be allowed to go to the hospital without delay. She was too groggy to concentrate on what the policeman was saying. All she wanted was to curl up in her own bed. It crossed her mind that she ought to cancel her credit cards as soon as possible. She pushed the thought away; too weary to bother. Then it struck her, how was she going to get into her flat without her key? The Ericksons, who lived in the flat below, had a spare but they were away on holiday somewhere on the south coast with their eldest daughter and her family. She swallowed the rising panic. There was always Elizabeth.

  Ben’s jacket was removed and replaced with a blanket. Strong, reassuring arms gently lifted Sarah to her feet.

  The frowning policeman positioned himself in front of her.

  ‘We will need to take a further statement, Mrs Harcourt. Perhaps you’ll be good enough to call into the Princes Street Station tomorrow so we can have the rest of the details.’

  She could hear Ben and Carole muttering away behind her, something about who was supposed to be the culprit.

  The policeman stuck out his chin and, before the paramedic could elbow him aside, demanded, ‘Was there anything else in your bag?’

  She started to shake her head and then she remembered. ‘My diary!’ All her appointments plus the accumulation of addresses and telephone numbers! Meetings dominated her working life. How on earth would she know where she was supposed to be, or when? She couldn’t take any more.

  Suddenly, to her intense chagrin, she was aware of hot tears coursing down her cheeks.

  Chapter 2

  ‘How could anyone have just walked past and left you?’ The ring of the mug as it was slammed down on the table echoed around the kitchen.

  ‘Perhaps she thought I was some prostitute beaten up by one of my clients and didn’t want to get involved.’

  Elizabeth scowled, far too indignant on Sarah’s behalf to be mollified by the feeble attempt at light-heartedness.

  ‘What I don’t understand is what you were doing in that part of town in the first place.’ Sarah had been wondering when Elizabeth would get round to the inevitable question.

  ‘My car was in for a service and by the time I’d remembered about collecting it, the garage had closed. I should have told them to leave it on the forecourt but there was a long queue when I dropped it off.’

  Elizabeth stared across at her, waiting for more. ‘So?’

  Any hope that all her prattle would deflect her friend faded. Elizabeth had always been persistent. ‘I was on my way to the Bus Station,’ she mumbled. Elizabeth’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. ‘I know,’ Sarah cut in crossly before the predictable lecture, ‘I should have phoned for a taxi, but I didn’t think of it at the time. Put it down to my frugal upbringing.’

  No one on the Capstick Estate of her childhood would ever have dreamed of taking a taxi. Sarah was not ashamed of her working class background but, for all her current affluence and success, every now and again her roots had a habit of catching up with her.

  The sound of the television in the adjacent room filled the silence.

  ‘This isn’t fair on Graham. He must be wondering what we’re up to. It’s one thing to drag you out to bring me back from the hospital and give me a bed for the night but quite another to keep you out here all evening.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. He’s fine on his own. Drink your tea.’

  ‘I do appreciate all this, you know,’ Sarah muttered. An inadequate word to express the depth of her feeling.

  ‘You’d do the same for me.’

  Slowly sipping the strong, sweet tea Elizabeth had insisted that was good for shock, Sarah looked across the table into the warm, hazel eyes. Their friendship had stood the test of time. They had shared a room at university; two naïve young people who’d discussed innermost fears and ambitions until two in the morning on far too many occasions. They had remained close despite going their separate ways. Even after they were both married, they’d never diluted the intimacy by getting together as a foursome. Naturally, Sarah had met Graham frequently at various social gatherings, as Elizabeth had Nathan, but their girls’ get-togethers, if less frequent, were sacrosanct.

  Elizabeth, one of life’s practical people, had already ph
oned First Direct and ensured that Sarah’s credit cards were cancelled. She had even been through the local telephone directory and sorted out a locksmith for Sarah to ring first thing in the morning.

  It was a relief to be able to pass responsibility to someone else for a while. Even if she had been able to get into the flat, the last thing Sarah wanted was to be alone with her fears. That nasty little incident had robbed her of more than her handbag. She had always thought of herself as strong and independent, but now she was finding it difficult to keep out the dread of nightmares and the self-doubt that now threatened to overwhelm her.

  ‘I’m not sure I can cope anymore.’ It was out before she had realised.

  ‘That doesn’t sound like superwoman.’

  ‘I’m hardly that,’ Sarah snapped.

  Elizabeth snorted and raised her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Come on! You’re at the top of your profession in a man’s world.’

  Sarah sighed. True there were only a handful of women Principals in Further Education in the whole country, and it had been necessary for her to fight her way up against all the odds. There was no denying she was good at her job but she wasn’t so naïve that she didn’t appreciate that she’d been used as a pawn in someone else’s greater plan.

  Alan Sheringham had great vision for Silbury College, already one of the largest FE complexes in the south, and appointing a woman Principal, especially one so young, would make everyone sit up and take notice. Though, had he survived that unexpected heart attack, Sarah wondered if the Chairman of the Board of Governors would have found her quite as malleable as he’d anticipated.

  ‘Successful at work maybe, but not much else. My personal life is an utter mess. I don’t seem to be able to relate to my family anymore and I couldn’t even make a go of my marriage,’ she finished bitterly.

  ‘Oh come on!’ Elizabeth was exasperated. ‘You can’t take the blame for that. The man was a rat. He cheated on you.’